In sickness and in health…
Motivation is a funny thing. I go to work (almost) every day – when I wake up, I have no desire at all to go… I leave the fianc?e and our little daughter behind to go and do other people’s bidding. Then I get into the car, and suddenly I’m looking forward to a new day of challenges. Then around 4 pm I realize that I’m about to go home, and time has passed so quickly which must have meant that I’ve had ‘fun’. And then I can’t wait to get back home and experience the joys of parenthood – i.e. changing diapers and spending time with the two most important girls in my life.
Some say that I should savour every moment I have with my daughter while she’s an infant… I think there is a more important lesson here. Enjoy life where you’re at. Every time you look back on something, you either remember it as a terrible time due to 1 or 2 really bad experiences – or you remember it as the ‘golden days’ where honey was abundant and the snow was over the chimney. Noone ever remembered the bee’s nest that came with the honey – or the shoveling of said snow… I’ll bet you my hat and my clay glove that I made back in public school, that what you remember fondly had it’s drawbacks at the time – and that year in elementary school that just plain sucked did have it’s golden moments where the sun shone and life was good.
I will not in 4 years time look back and think: “Man, I had the opportunity to spend time with my baby girl, and I missed it all because I spent 40 hours at work every week!” I will not think of it as lost time, I’ll think of the time that we actually spent together and savour that. Whether it was 6 hours a day or 12 never did matter – how you spent that time is important.
And I know that I love spending time with our daughter, even if she does cry and fills diapers faster than I can say “Ekki, ekki, ekki, pha-thung soum boyoying”. Sometimes I’m afraid that my frustration with being unable to fulfill all her needs looks to my fianc?e as if I regret having her. Nothing could be further from the truth. I’m simply frustrated. No heart-felt regrets that we can’t spend more time together just the two of us… I’m just plain frustrated. And I can take apart a computer and put it back together mostly succesfull in 10 minutes flat – and I cannot get my daughter to stop crying because she has gas…
Well, anyhow – I guess what I’m trying to say is this: I’ll take the good with the bad… in sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer – I’ll love you two till death do us part. (Okay, I know that was cheap – and it did happen to fall in there when I know the fianc?e is looking… and waiting for people to accept our wedding invitations…)