My daughter is growing up… *sob*

Skrevet - Sunday, May 13th, 2007 kl. 20:47 | Kategori - Datteren

Everyone is supposed to regret their children growing up too fast too soon. I don’t - I guess that makes either a bad parent or … uhm… let’s call it special. Right now my daughter is trying to un-tangle herself of 12 cables underneath our computer table while banging her head against the same table. I’m proud of her accomplishments - more proud of her than of what I have done over the years.

She is growing up, yes. But I get to be along for the ride, and I’m enjoying it every step of the way. I would regret it, if I wasn’t, for sure. I firmly believe that you should regret as little as possible and just accept and overcome. Yes, I’ve made mistakes along the way, but at least I did something! And every mistake as well as the successes and mediocre choices I made, has made me what I am today… which is a whiny 30-year-old with too-little muscle-tissue and a cold. But who’s to say what I could have been? Who knows and who bloody cares. I don’t.

My daughter is just about a year old and is exploring everything the hard way. Trial and error seems to be her preferred way of learning. Also, she thinks that just because a) happened the first 10 times she did this action doesn’t mean a) will happen the 11th… And she seems to blame us for it. Why didn’t we remove this obstacle one of the first 10 times? I believe my form of upbringing is called… well, I know it as “Freedom under responsebility” but there is probably a technical term for it somewhere. I believe that setting too rigid standards that must be upheld will hamper her developement. And as a consequence I have to believe that bruising in most cases isn’t permanent…

Back when I grew up, we had a somewhat strict upbringing - we weren’t e.g. allowed loud noises inside. And as a consequence, we (my siblings and I) developed a natural respect for authority. There were consequences for our actions and we learned which activities caused the fewest quarrels. So, I guess we are pretty well-behaved, have pretty good educations and are considered pretty stand-up citizens overall. But guess what we lack? Creativity in my book. We are pragmatic, efficient and fairly honest (since our lies are see-through in difficulty). Any apology based on anything but fact was discarded (our father is a primary school teacher and knows a lot about excuses…). My sister can draw anything… that exists - and finds it irrelevant to discuss things that aren’t realistic.

A smart guy once said opposites attract - enter my wife. She is creative, emotional and imaginative and often enter arguments concerning imaginary problems… “What if…” has sparked many interesting debates. I often compare my sister’s son and my daughter (yeah, yeah… they say, I shouldn’t - but they also said yellow snow was to be avoided… hey, wait…) and consider how different they will turn out. Our daughter could turn out any number of ways - since my wife and I are so different - I guess our daughter could turn out anywhere, really. Hmm… I lost my point somewhere I think.

I guess my point is that our daughter will actually get to decide how she wants to be. Whatever she chooses, there is a good chance at least one of us has tried it (or avoided it). We will give advice, but let her decide which route to choose. I guess, we are giving her the upbringing, the both of us would have wanted if we hadn’t ended up with the one we did. Neither of us are really complaining about our upbringing, but hey, there is always room for improvement, right?